Already got asked if we're dating
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
