My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
