I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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