I love black thongs
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
