he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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