haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
