my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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