I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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