he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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