He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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