glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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