i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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