A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
