Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
