So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
high people should be assigned attendants
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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