So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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