she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize