I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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