woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My feet surprised me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
