He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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