U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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