i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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