i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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