I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize