So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
