It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
