dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
