Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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