he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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