well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
