Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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