yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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