Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
