I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
