tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
