i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
