I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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