I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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