He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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