This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
