i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
