What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
