Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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