I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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