Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
