i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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