She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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