I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
