I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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