You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
