You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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