Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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