is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
