i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize