Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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