if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
