Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
