I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
