Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
