I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize