So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
